Well, that's a bit generous. Honestly, I've never really loved kids at all. Please don't get me wrong... (I can almost hear the venomous shouts of proud parents all over the world who read this: Bitch! Witch! Selfish wench! Ignorant @!@@!) It's not that I hate children. No, I don't hate newborn babies or two-year old little girls with blonde ponytails and pink ribbons in their hair. It's just that, unlike most women my age, I don't get that giddy, "oh look at the iddy biddy baby" vibe when I see a child. In fact, when I'm confronted with children, I don't feel much at all.
Now, on the other hand, if I come face to face with an adorablely furry faced puppy, I melt and am instantly reduced to a baby-talking idiot. "Oh, what a cute puppy wuppy... What a little face! Are you a baby? Yes you are, just a little iddy biddy baby..." Pathetic, I know.
When Chris and I met, we both made it absolutely clear that having children was not a priority. We wanted to travel, explore, live life to the fullest... A child, in our minds, would only get in the way. To be even more bold, we were absolutely sure that we'd NEVER want to have kids and talked at length about the freedom that being a childless couple would provide.
The years flew by, and after our wedding in '05 we occupied ourselves with thoughts of each other, work, travel, financial well-being, our dogs, etc. Unlike most newlyweds, the thought of children was the last thing on our minds. We had all but decided to forgo the American Dream of having 2.5 kids, instead satisfying our desire for a big family by continuing to adopt four-legged orphans from the pound.
Well, it is now the dawn of a new day.
About two months ago, triggered by a negative ept test, Chris looked at me and said the words I thought I'd never hear: "Well, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have a kid. In fact, the more I think about it, I think I'd really like to have a baby with you."
Um, say what?
Needless to say, an in-depth discussion pursued (and is still ongoing, I might add) about possibly altering our status as a cultured, well-rounded "childless couple." While neither of us has made a permanent decision, we have agreed to a two year wait. If, at that time, he (or I) still feels the need to procreate, then we will, um, attempt to do so. I guess that's how it's going to work, anyway.
For the time being, we're taking it slow, talking, and evaluating all the pros and cons. To us, having a baby is a big step, a lifelong commitment. And, because of our previous thoughts concerning babies and children, neither of us want to jump into parenthood unless we are really, truly, one-hundred percent ready.
Chris, in the meantime, readily admits that this little "wanna be a daddy" phase may pass in a year or two. And I, honoring my marriage vows of for better or for worse, am attempting to open my mind to the concept that babies are cute, and that little girls with blonde ponytails and pink ribbons in their hair are adorable. (I've been watching TLC's Bringing Baby Home and A Baby Story on my days off - so far to no avail.)
Anyway, I guess neither Chris nor I know what the future will bring. Our lives, since we've met, have been as unpredictable as ever. Will Chris and I ever be parents? I can't say for sure. Either way, I think as long as the spontaneity continues, we'll be happy...
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