Letting go... Of the need for control.
It's a hard thing to do. When your usual response to an undesirable situation is to put up your dukes and fight, argue, claw, yell, shout, scream, demand - then it can be a bit of a challenge to sit back, relax, let go of the reins, and allow the situation to unfold on its own.
In fact, it can be the hardest thing you've ever done. Especially if you're like me.
Because of certain events that happened during my youth, I spent most of my early adulthood fighting for control. I was absolutely desperate to steer events and circumstances into a desirable (read that safe) outcome. I had the need to push, push, push myself to make every wrong situation right. Every bad situation good. Every awful situation better. I felt that to relinquish the control to anyone else would be tantamount to disaster. In my mind, I was the only one who cared about me, so therefore I was the only one who could keep me safe. I was the only one who could make me happy. I was the only one...
And, of course, it never worked. The harder I fought, and the harder I pushed, the more of a struggle life became. The more I sought control, the less of it I obtained.
It was exhausting.
But I was, however, right about one thing. My happiness does, in a way, depend solely on me. I was just looking at things from a limited perspective.
I've learned that letting go of the need for control over situations that are uncontrollable (say that ten times fast), and focusing on the only thing I can control - how I feel - is the best, most satisfying and sure way to a happy, fulfilling and, yes, safe life. The key to our happiness doesn't lie someplace else, or with someone else. It lies with us. Inside of us. It's all about how we feel in every given moment that makes us who we are.
And fortunately, how we feel is always, absolutely, and only in our control.
It doesn't matter what's going on around us. We have the power, the strength, and the wisdom to turn the other cheek, to look toward the light, and to see the glass - every glass - as half full. No exceptions.
And when we do that, amazing things happen. Miracles happen. Or, in other words, a perfect unfolding of circumstances based on what we're feeling, thinking, and envisioning. Each of us have the willpower to direct our thoughts. Whether they be good or bad, positive or negative, uplifting or degrading, it's all up to us. We decide what we think and, as a result, how we feel.
Happiness is literally just a thought away. And no matter what is happening in our lives, it's always within reach. It's always accessible. It's always, always, and only within us.
It is, when all is said and done, the only thing we can control.
And I, for one, find that very comforting.
* Dehlia, learning to make the best of an undesirable situation. ;)
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"I’ve decided that I’m gonna take life as it comes. And I am going to do the best that I can do in the midst of what I’m doing."-- Abraham
