A Year of... Expansion.

Good-bye 2009. Thank you for the contrast you inspired, the desires that you helped me to fulfill, and the dreams that you pushed me toward each and every one of your 365 days. I appreciate you more than I can say.

Life is truly good. Hello, 2010. :)

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"When you just let loose of where you've been and you start looking forward to where you're going, everything will break loose for you..."
-- Abraham

New Mailer :)

"If we were talking to you on your first day here we would say, 'Welcome to planet Earth. There is nothing that you cannot be or do or have. And your work here—your lifetime career—is to seek joy.'

"As you think thoughts that feel good to you, you will be in harmony with who-you-really-are. And in doing so you will utilize your profound freedom. Seek joy first, and all of the growth that you could ever imagine will come joyously and abundantly unto you."

-- Abraham

Question: "I'm a doctor/attorney/teacher/computer programmer/sculpter/President-of-the-United-States... What do you do?"

My Answer: "I seek joy." :)

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"Your hands are tied in action, but your hands are not tied in imagination -- and everything springs forth from the imagination. Everything."
-- Abraham

Merry Christmas... To Me.

Brand new cards = a very merry Christmas.

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"Follow your dreams, for as you dream you shall become."
-- Anonymous

But Color Rocks, Too...

Okay, okay, okay. I know that I just posted about my obsession with black and white photos, and how much I love them, etc. Yada, yada, yada. But - I do have to admit - every once and awhile there are certain images that, when drenched with color, make my heart melt.

Here are just a few...

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"As I have practiced it, photography produces pleasure by simplicity. I see something special and show it to the camera. A picture is produced. The moment is held until someone sees it. Then it is theirs."
-- Sam Abell

What Boredom Produces...

It's not uncommon, if you've had a session with me, to (very randomly) receive freshly edited prints as far as six months after your shoot. Because editing photos is one of my favorite things to do, I'm always going back and tinkering with previous shots, applying newly learned techniques, and just appreciating every beautiful image that I was fortunate enough to catch on film.

Here's a photo of Baby C - who I shot last September - that I just finished touching up. I totally bypassed this image when I was initially editing his session... But now, close to three months later and after browsing the pictures again, I found this particular shot to be, well, priceless.

If this is what boredeom produces, I think I'll be "bored" a little more often. :)

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"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
-- Ellen Parr

The Beauty of Black & White

Black and white photos always make me sigh. In a good way.

There's just something so raw and beautiful about a black and white photo. Hauntingly poetic, ruggedly real, and absolutely stunning in a bare-naked, hard-to-ignore way. A portrait shaded in blacks, grays, and whites always, always, always, makes my heart flutter. Those colorless images will forever be my absolute favorite prints.

Here are a few black and white pics that - you guessed it - make my heart flutter.

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"When you photograph people in colour you photograph their clothes. But when you photograph people in B&W, you photograph their souls!"
-- Ted Grant

Image of the Day

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"There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs."
-- Ansel Adams

Two Roads...

Last Tuesday's photo shoot with Shaunise was so much fun that... that... Well, I honestly can't put it into words.

What photography has done for me this past year is indescribable. It's not only provided for me a huge, gigantic creative outlet, but it's also instilled in me a feeling of hope. Hope for a future that is, as we speak, expanding oh-so-beautifully.

So, with that being said, it makes me wonder - in an I'm-just-curious sort of way - why I'm continuing to partake in things/situations/events that are, to put it mildly, less than pleasing. When there is something (photography) that brings me so much joy that I can't even express it in words, it seems almost self-destructive to consistently surround myself with people and put myself into situations that cause me to feel, well, the exact opposite.

With 2009 coming to a close and a brand new year just around the corner, I'm suddenly finding myself at a crossroads. It's almost as if the Universe is forcing me to make a choice. Urging me to come - finally - to a decision.

I know what choice I desire. But I also know what choice is safe.

I'll make my decision. Soon. And I'm almost 100 percent sure which one it will be. As I've said before, the safest route doesn't always end up being all that safe.

I'm reminded of an old Robert Frost poem, The Road Not Taken. Lately it's been running over and over in my mind, wearing a trail through my thoughts and playing with my dreams. It's absolutely beautiful - always been one of my favorites - and seems to be prodding me in the right direction.

As for now, here are some more shots from my session with Shaunise. Beautiful girl = beautiful pictures. Enjoy!

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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-- Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

Sneak Peek: Shaunise :)

Okay, so maybe that's more than a peek. ;)
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"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
-- Oscar Wilde

Eight Years

I wasn't going to stay very long. Fifteen, twenty minutes at the most. In and out. Real quick. Just one drink and go. Because I had other places to be. Other people to see.

But one of the best things about being young, spontaneous, and full of hope is that - on any given night, in any given place - Anything can happen. And, eight years ago on that late November night, Anything did happen.

That night, in a crowded bar and amidst a sea of people, I met Chris. We laid eyes on each other and - as true romantics would say - fell in love at first sight. We chatted about nothing and everything, shared dreams so seemingly far-fetched that we surprised even ourselves, and confided our deepest secrets without so much as a second thought. As the night spilled over into the morning, we lost track of time. Over several drinks, a horror movie and, later, over the hood of my frost-covered car, I lost a bit of myself to him.

And I've never gotten it back.

Eight years ago tonight I met the man that is now my husband. He has my heart. He has my soul.

And from now until forever, he'll have me.

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"Sooner or later we begin to understand that love is more than verses on valentines and romance in the movies. We begin to know that love is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in our lives. For love is the creator of our favourite memories and the foundation of our fondest dreams. Love is a promise that is always kept, a fortune that can never be spent, a seed that can flourish in even the most unlikely of places. And this radiance that never fades, this mysterious and magical joy, is the greatest treasure of all - one known only by those who love."
-- Author Unknown

The Need for Control

Letting go... Of the need for control.

It's a hard thing to do. When your usual response to an undesirable situation is to put up your dukes and fight, argue, claw, yell, shout, scream, demand - then it can be a bit of a challenge to sit back, relax, let go of the reins, and allow the situation to unfold on its own.

In fact, it can be the hardest thing you've ever done. Especially if you're like me.

Because of certain events that happened during my youth, I spent most of my early adulthood fighting for control. I was absolutely desperate to steer events and circumstances into a desirable (read that safe) outcome. I had the need to push, push, push myself to make every wrong situation right. Every bad situation good. Every awful situation better. I felt that to relinquish the control to anyone else would be tantamount to disaster. In my mind, I was the only one who cared about me, so therefore I was the only one who could keep me safe. I was the only one who could make me happy. I was the only one...

And, of course, it never worked. The harder I fought, and the harder I pushed, the more of a struggle life became. The more I sought control, the less of it I obtained.

It was exhausting.

But I was, however, right about one thing. My happiness does, in a way, depend solely on me. I was just looking at things from a limited perspective.

I've learned that letting go of the need for control over situations that are uncontrollable (say that ten times fast), and focusing on the only thing I can control - how I feel - is the best, most satisfying and sure way to a happy, fulfilling and, yes, safe life. The key to our happiness doesn't lie someplace else, or with someone else. It lies with us. Inside of us. It's all about how we feel in every given moment that makes us who we are.

And fortunately, how we feel is always, absolutely, and only in our control.

It doesn't matter what's going on around us. We have the power, the strength, and the wisdom to turn the other cheek, to look toward the light, and to see the glass - every glass - as half full. No exceptions.

And when we do that, amazing things happen. Miracles happen. Or, in other words, a perfect unfolding of circumstances based on what we're feeling, thinking, and envisioning. Each of us have the willpower to direct our thoughts. Whether they be good or bad, positive or negative, uplifting or degrading, it's all up to us. We decide what we think and, as a result, how we feel.

Happiness is literally just a thought away. And no matter what is happening in our lives, it's always within reach. It's always accessible. It's always, always, and only within us.

It is, when all is said and done, the only thing we can control.

And I, for one, find that very comforting.


* Dehlia, learning to make the best of an undesirable situation. ;)

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"I’ve decided that I’m gonna take life as it comes. And I am going to do the best that I can do in the midst of what I’m doing."
-- Abraham