When I was younger, I was more than a little meek, mild, shy, soft spoken, and completely self-conscious. I lived my life based on what others thought. If someone didn't like me, or made fun of me, or (gasp) thought my freckles were ugly, I was devastated. I'd let it wreck my entire day, week, month... One time, a spat with a friend wrecked my entire eighth grade year.
I used to blame it all on being too sensitive.
As a sentimental little girl filled with too many feelings and emotions, I used to drive my mother nuts. "You're too sensitive, Lisa," she'd always say to me. "You need to shuck things off. Be like everyone else."
And I'd try. I really would.
But then something would happen - a boy that I liked would make fun of me or I'd see a dead animal on the side of the road - and almost without warning I'd find my heart riding up into my throat and feel that burning sensation behind my eyes. Within seconds I'd melt into that sentimental sap that I tried so hard not to be.
Now, as an adult, I'm not nearly as meek, mild, shy, soft-spoken, or self-conscious. I've grown. Matured. And realized that my freckles are sort of charming.
But... I'm still just as sensitive.
I've learned, however, that being sensitive is not necessarily a bad thing. At all. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that it takes a pretty brave person to be sensitive.
I feel. Very deeply. And I love it.
I love the fact that everything I experience and every person I interact with touches me to the very core. Life's a never-ending miracle. There's never a dull moment. Watching Chris play fetch with Dehlia, gazing at Molly while she snoozes in my lap, listening to the rain as it slaps against our bedroom window at night, drowning in the salty sea air as we drive along the Coast... It's my belief that being sensitive puts me in the position to appreciate. Everything. Everyone.
Of course, being sensitive isn't all fun and games. If it was, bravery wouldn't be part of the formula. After all, if you open yourself up completely - no holds barred - you unavoidably run into things, experiences, and people that are both good and bad. Torn relationships, letdowns, loss, pain, and heartache can go hand in hand with love, success, joy, happiness, and abundance.
But, I've discovered, it's how you react to life that makes it what it is. Life itself doesn't breed good or evil. Fate doesn't hand out good luck and bad luck on a whim. How you respond to even the most ordinary, everyday occurrences can either turn them into wonderful experiences that you can do anything with, or make them into un-ending nightmares that completely take over your waking hours.
It's your choice.
By being sensitive to your feelings, thoughts, and emotions, you can actually turn seemingly bad situations and experiences into life-altering lessons. Use them to your advantage. Feel your way into happiness. And make life worth living.
Lately I've learned to channel my sensitive vibes into better and better feeling places. I've learned to bask in the contrast that life provides. And I've put my overly emotional, highly attuned sensitive feelings to work - in my favor.
I mean, come on - I'd rather enjoy life than hate it.
And that alone makes being a highly sensitive person well worth the risk, don't you think?
* Here are a few more pics from our 4th of July getaway that make my heart swell... :)
_________________________
"I'm Sensitive"
I was thinking that I might fly today
Just to disprove all the things that you say
It doesn't take a talent to be mean
Your words can crush things that are unseen
So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way.
I have this theory that if we're told we're bad
Then that's the only idea we'll ever have
But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see
'Cause anyone can start a conflict
it's harder yet to disregard it
I'd rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way."
-- Jewel
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