Thankful

He looked at me carefully. His eyes were guarded, and I knew right away what he was thinking.

Dare I ask her?

But I smiled at Chris over the steaming turkey and nodded. “It’s all right,” I said. “Let’s do this.”

Every year, before we start chowing down on our Thanksgiving feast, we tell each other all the reasons that we’re thankful. This year, however, with the (very) recent and abrupt turn of events that has my life now spiraling into a new, unknown direction, Chris wondered if asking me what I was thankful for might just be the push that hurled me over the edge.

I can't say I blamed him for being nervous.

This year, I’m thankful for a life that’s never dull. I’m thankful for the willingness to constantly push forward and maintain a positive outlook, despite current circumstances. And to know that, no matter what, the power to be happy is – and will always be – mine to control. I’m also thankful for the enormous amount of strength and appreciation that the recent events have instilled in me. What started out as a powerless situation has now become, thankfully, something that I feel I can do anything with.

Right now, I’m not looking back. I’m not even looking forward. For the first time in my life, I’m going to just be. I’m not going to force my way through or to anything. I’m going to stop seeking my future and, instead, allow it to just... happen.

As the old saying goes: Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be.

And for the first time in my life, I’m not going to worry about it.

_________________

"You heard what Linus was saying out there. Those early Pilgrims were thankful for what had happened to them, and we should be thankful, too. We should just be thankful for being together. I think that's what they mean by 'Thanksgiving,' Charlie Brown."
-- Marcie (A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving)