The Victor

Love this... So inspiring. And so true.

The Victor
by: C. W. Longenecker

If you think you are beaten, you are.

If you think you dare not, you don't.

If you like to win but think you can't,
it's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost.

For out in the world we find
success begins with a fellow's will.

It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are out classed, you are.

You've got to think high to rise.

You've got to be sure of your-self before
you can ever win the prize.

Life's battles don't always go
to the stronger or faster man.

But sooner or later, the man who wins
is the man who thinks he can.

** For more pics of Julia, click here. :)

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"The power of imagination makes us infinite."
-- John Muir

Impatient...

I've never been very patient.

Hurry, hurry, hurry. Quick, quick, quick. Now. Now. Now...

When I'm fired-up about something, I feel the immediate urge to scale the highest mountain or climb up to the highest roof top and - by yelling, screaming, jumping, or busting a righteous move - enthusiastically let the world know, in no uncertain terms, that I'm way beyond super-excited.

Seriously. I mean, there are times when I can hardly contain myself.

It's a bit ridiculous, really.

Here are some shots from a photo shoot that I did today with Julia. Not surprisingly, I'm too excited about these pics to wait until I'm officially done editing to post them.

So I'm doing it now.

Right now.

Enjoy!















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"When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?"
-- George Carlin

A Sunday Shoot

Fun with Fiona Rose...

Pouting... It's tough being two.

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"Courage, determination, pride...that's what little girls are made of."
-- Author Unknown

Happy Halloween!!!

What fearful shapes and shadows beset his path, amidst the dim and ghastly glare of a snowy night! With what wistful look did he eye every trembling ray of light streaming across the waste fields from some distant window! How often was he appalled by some shrub covered with snow, which, like a sheeted specter, beset his very path! How often did he shrink with curdling awe at the sound of his own steps on the frosty crust beneath his feet; and dread to look over his shoulder, lest he should behold some uncouth being tramping close behind him! And how often was he thrown into complete dismay by some rushing blast, howling among the trees, in the idea that it was the Galloping Hessian on one of his nightly scouring!

- - - Washington Irving (a quote from "The Legend of Sleep Hollow")

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Witch and ghost make merry on this last of dear October’s days.
--Author Unknown

Happy Thursday!

_______________________

Dean: "You know it's kinda funny talking to a messenger of God on a cell phone. You know, like watching a Hells Angel on a moped."

Castiel: "This isn't funny Dean! The voice says I'm almost out of minutes!"
-- from Supernatural, "The End"

Driving to Escape

It was strange. Just three of us in the Jeep.

There should have been four.

Two humans. Two dogs. Two of each. For the last six years, that's how we defined our family. Chris, me, Molly, and Dehlia. Just the four of us. Inseparable.

And for the last six years, road trips had always been one of our favorite things to do. The dogs loved the sites and the smells of the road. Chris and I loved the excitement and the change of scenery. Hitting the road was absolutely liberating. The constant hum of the tires against the pavement was soothing, and all four of us would be more than relaxed by the end of the trip.

We had a system - sort of. Sure, there were some chaotic moments. (Okay, many chaotic moments. But with two lively, energetic dogs, how could there not be?) But it was always worth it. Every insane, seemingly unmanageable moment was complete and utter bliss. Because we were together.

Today, we still love road trips. They're still exciting, liberating, and relaxing.

But now we're split. Our Molly has moved on, changed form, and is now swirling beyond our grasp. Just out of reach. And I'd give anything to be able to align with her again. Right now. I know it will happen eventually. Of that, I'm absolutely certain.

But I'm also impatient.

Last Saturday, on a spur of the moment whim, the three of us piled into the Jeep and drove. Drove to forget. Drove to remember. Or drove just to get our minds off the fact that, one week ago to the day, we laid one of our own to rest.

This is where we ended up. Lake Chelan. It was our first visit to the area, and the little bit that we saw took our breaths away. We made it to the lake less than an hour before nightfall, so we didn't have time to stop and explore. But the views from the road were enough - at least for the time being. We definitely plan on going back.

Chris. Dehlia. And me.

The three of us.







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He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
-- Author Unknown

Dehlia (a.k.a. Black Velvet)

Faithful:
With eye upraised his master’s look to scan,
The joy, the solace, and
the aid of man:
The rich man’s guardian and the poor man’s friend,
The only creature faithful to the end.
--George Crabbe.

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"God ... sat down for a moment when the dog was finished in order to watch it... and to know that it was good, that nothing was lacking, that it could not have been made better."
-- Rainer Maria Rilke

Tea in a Smurf Mug...

... can cure anything.

I wish.

The last several days have been filled with so many ups and downs, I feel like I've been re-living the last few months of Molly's life in fastforward. I'll have a great, fantastic, wonderfully serene moment (usually during and just after meditation) where I'll feel completely calm and at peace. But then, a few hours later, when the chaos of the day has attacked and successfully clogged my mind, I'll loose it - completely.

It feels just like it did when my dad passed - eighteen year ago.

Mornings are hard, but bearable. I can usually pull myself out of the funk and get on with the day - sort of. Afternoons are a bit easier, in part because I've been watching a lot of Abraham DVDs and strangling Dehlia in one long, continuous hug. (Who, I might add, must sense something's wrong - she's really not a fan of cuddling in any way, but is graciously allowing me to sob into her coat almost on an hourly basis.) But in the evenings, when I watch a particular television show, or pick up a can of food that I bought last week, I'll immediately think, she was alive the last time we watched this, or she was alive when we bought this.

I know I need to pull myself out of this, this pattern of numbness, pain, extreme pain, acceptance, numbness, pain, extreme pain, unbearable pain... Chris tells me it will take some time. He's understanding. And patient. And caring. And... Without him I honestly don't know how I'd deal with this.

As for me... I'm trying to be more patient. It's just not happening fast enough.

Guess I'll put on another Abraham DVD. And brew some more tea.

And allow myself - just for awhile - to miss my little girl.


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"When you leave this physical form, and your consciousness returns fully to the Inner You, the physical you that has lived in this body will continue to be, always. That essence is always vibrationally accessible by others and by the Broader You."

"Relationships are forever. They are eternal. Not just permanent in this lifetime. Once you establish a relationship, it is an eternal relationship."

-- Abraham

Retail Therapy

Red + Boots = Happiness



Anxiously awaiting their arrival. ;)
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Monica: [Monica referring to her fancy new boots] "See, Chandler? I'm getting a lot use out of them already. They're very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants..."

Chandler: "You can wear them with shorts on the street corner and earn the money to pay for them."
-- Friends, "The One With Monica's Boots"

She's Gone

Molly's conditioned worsened late yesterday morning to the point that - even though we selfishly wanted to keep her around for a few extra days - there was no alternative other than to bring her to Doc and have her put to rest.

The procedure was painless (for her) and everything went very smooth. We're grateful for that.

Physically speaking, our baby girl is gone. I'd like to believe, however, that her energy is still swirling somewhere nearby - for at least awhile, anyway. Her loving little spirit is so big, I would never want to see it tethered.

She'll never, ever be forgotten.

** Molly's first trip to Kalaloch.


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"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace."
-- Milan Kundera

It's Time

For the last eight and a half years, I've focused almost solely on Molly. She's like a daughter - a four-legged, furry one - and is my absolute pride and joy. We have a relationship that goes so far beyond anything I've ever had before. The feelings I have for her run deeper than any feelings I've ever felt.

And now it's time to say good-bye.

We've set the date, made the arrangements, and are now spending her last few days just appreciating every moment we have with her. Old pictures have been dug out. Chris and I have been telling the same old funny stories about her over and over and over again...

But, on the inside, we're dying. Right along with her.

It's strange to feel this way. I believe in an afterlife. I know that "death" is not the end. And I've witnessed several transitions from this world to the next in my thirty-two years. But none of them have ever affected me like this one.

Despite my beliefs, my heart hurts. My soul feels crushed. My energy is drained.

This is the right decision. And I know that it's for the best. But none of that makes this any easier.


** Molly - 2006


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"One last word of farewell, dear master and mistress. Whenever you visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret but also happiness in your hearts at the remembrance of my long happy life with you: "Here lies one who loves us and whom we loved." No matter how deep my sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my spirit from wagging a grateful tail."
-- Eugene O'Neill, from his Dalmatian, Blemie's, last will and testament