There's no way around it. No avoiding it. And no sugar-coating it.
Our baby girl is not well. Period.
The decline started several months ago. At first we thought it was a particular medication she was on so, after a bit of discussion, we took her off of it. And it did seem to help... For awhile.
Since May, we've run test after test. X-ray films uncovered a little arthritis, but just the beginning stages. Nothing too debilitating. Blood work showed a low thyroid level and high cholesterol, but other functions - kidney, liver, etc - seemed to be normal. Then, further evaluation of her eyes hinted at a possible diagnosis of SARDS. (Sudden Acquired Retinal Degeneration Syndrome.)
And, after this past weekend, we're now looking into the possibility that she may be suffering from canine Cognitive Dysfunction Syndrome. Wondering aimlessly around the house, getting stuck in corners or behind furniture, anxiety, walking in circles - all signs of CDS.
But who knows for sure? The one thing I do know is that seeing her like this - sad, confused, depressed - hurts... And is more painful than anything I could have ever, ever imagined.
My heart feels so, so heavy.
Right now we're just trying to focus on the positive and remember all the good times we were fortunate enough to have with her. And there are so many...
She's blessed us in so many ways - more ways than I could ever express here - that our lives have been forever changed. She's shown Chris and I a type of unconditional love that we didn't even know existed. She's been our daughter, our friend, our teacher, and our therapist. A loving little bundle of energy, she's enriched our lives by keeping us constantly connected to the pure and compassionate Source of All-That-Is.
In the end, when it's time for her to leave us, I know that she'll return to that wonderful place of well-being, and her little light - which really isn't so little - will, without a doubt, continue to shine on.
She is, after all, Molly.
______________________
"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us."
-- Robert Louis Stevenson
2 comments:
So sorry about Molly. She's beautiful and you express yourself beautifully.
Thank you so much. She's our baby (one of two) and we're pulling for her. She has her good days and her off days. Right now, we're here for her. And when she's ready to move on, we'll be there for her, too. :)
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