Or, to be more specific...
Career status. Bank accounts. Designer clothes. Automobiles. Parking spaces. Jewelry. Houses. Swimming pools. White picket fences... And yes, sometimes even children.
Everyone out there, at one point or other, has used one or more of these items as status symbols. As a license to feel superior. And as a reason to say, "Hey, look at me... At meeeeee!"
Lately, in an attempt to simplify my life, I've made an effort to detach myself from "things." Certain material possessions that, when it comes down to it, I can actually live my life just fine without.
For example...
Shoes. I love 'em. Love 'em! Can't get enough of them. (Especially red ones. But that's another story.) Do I need them? Yes. Do I need fifty pairs? No. What about twenty? Nope, sorry. Okay, what about five or six? Well, okay. But still...
That sort of thing.
Chris and I have been in spring cleaning mode all year. Slowly and surely, we've been whittling down our belongings to (almost) the bare necessities. (Chris is better at this than I am. As I've mentioned before, his favorite item in the house is the shredder...) We still have a few items around the house that we hold near and dear to our hearts: my book collection, our unity candle holders, a sentimental print of Lake Superior, old photos of us, our parents, the dogs, and various trips we've taken... Oh, and Smurf glasses. (Don't ask.)
Basically, we've come to a point in our lives where we no longer feel the need to define ourselves by our "things." We don't need a big house with a white picket fence and a pool, two SUVs, and 2.5 kids to be fulfilled. Our job titles, while appreciated, are not tools to gain respect from our peers. And our bank account and travel roster are not meant to inspire envy in those who have less than we do.
It seems that so many people in today's society are so busy trying to keep up with the Jones's that they are ignoring themselves. Losing themselves to the false yet highly idolized mass obsession of being one of "those" people who have it all: the prestigious career, the right address, the best stuff, the perfect family. In our culture especially, it appears that so many people only acquire things so that they can be envied, worshipped, desired, and adored.
And because of this, most people are missing out on the real reason for living.
To measure the value of oneself by the amount of things accumulated throughout a lifetime is perhaps the most personally destructive thing an individual can do. When too much value is placed on objects, satisfaction is never reached. Oh, yes - a certain level of satisfaction can be gained from buying that new "thing". But, eventually, the rush of adrenaline will fade and soon a frenzied longing for a newer and better "thing" will take its place. It's a vicious cycle. And one that can leave a person feeling frantic, stressed, exhausted, beaten down and, ultimately, worthless.
Chris and I aren't perfect. We still have things. And we still desire things. (On the list at the moment is a new couch. The one we currently have is white and, with a black beast roaming the living room, well... Enough said.) But we're becoming better and better about buying only what we need. We don't buy to fill a void. We don't spend, spend, spend to keep up with anyone. And we don't buy to impress people.
By making the reason for living be to live, you take objects out of the equation. You suddenly become the catalyst for your own happiness. You are no longer a prisoner of your possessions. You're no longer chained to your ego.
You're free.
When we can let down our guards and just be - stripping away the status that society has pinned us with - that's when we find out who we really are. That's when we really begin to live. And that, I believe, is when we find true happiness.
Chris and I have long ago stopped caring about what other people think. We live our lives for ourselves. Some people may not agree with our choices, and that's fine. But the main thing is, we are who we are. And that's all that matters.
_________________
"You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy."
-- Eric Hoffer
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